Turner Prize show – Michael Dean: United Kingdom poverty line for two adults and two children: twenty thousand four hundred and thirty six pounds sterling as published on 1st September 2016

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Michael Dean, says the blurb on the wall and everything else about him online, starts his sculpture with words and realises them in concrete and corrugated iron and soil and sand and when we went in the installation we found the doorway and battered locked hut plastered in stickers like advertising but these were meaningless words endlessly repeated and I do not remember them but I guess as the blurb says these were his starting point.  Michael Dean, says the blurb on the wall, moulds human body parts from found materials and scatters pennies heaped like landscape across the floor the smallest amount a family can have to live on in one year and not be designated poor minus one penny.

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My daughter thought she spotted a pound thrown on the pile by some disapproving person vandalising modern art.

Anthea Hamilton: Project for door

On entering the second Turner Prize installation at the Tate Britain gallery, my son focussed first on Anthea Hamilton’s brick suit tailored from brick textile hanging against a brick mural.  He turned back on himself to be confronted by a giant mooning butt. I could hear him guffawing as I followed.  Like everyone else, we took turns photographing each other in that false doorway framed by giant thighs.

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I was struck not by those giant buttocks but at what the sculptor had left out:  there is no anus and no swell of genitalia above the doorway.  I found myself reflecting with sadness and respect that the neat central line might be the scar left by a skilled surgeon when the choices were hard and stakes high.

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Standing to one side and drawing, my thoughts changed to reflect a widespread mood of anger and despair.  Perhaps this is a monumental statue of an emperor’s golden arse as he displays his power and contempt.  But he is full of shit and has no balls.

It belongs in Trump Tower.